I think I did good...

Of course that's a matter of opinion. Daughter was crying at bedtime today, over the homework that remained incomplete. She hates homework. She used to love it. She doesn't like school, she used to like it. Now she's afraid of the teachers, stressed out by what she thinks will happen when she does something wrong, like forgetting to complete a piece of homework. She wants to go to school in Australia.

So, fighting a very strong instinct to say, yes I agree with you, lets leave tomorrow, I talked to her about all the good things we get to do here. Things like, we're lucky to be learning another language, most people don't get that in Australia. We have our own big house here but if we lived in Australia, we'd have to live with Oma and Opa (my parents) at least for a little while because there are not many houses for rent there, we have nice friends here, some of our family is here and we get to go to nice places like Kuantan, Singapore and Kuala Lumpur. And mummy gets to help some children who don't have a school to go to because they're autistic. So we really need to stay here and while we are here, we'll enjoy ourselves, OK?

So I'm wondering, how'd I do? Did I say the right thing? I don't want her to always think about what we'd have in Australia because it makes it harder to be here - the grass is always greener on the other side. And truth is, I don't know what it would be like living there again. Living there is not the same as staying for a holiday. Living is always harder because you've got the little everyday details of life to think about - job, money, car, etc. I have to think about those things here too, but I have most of what I need at the moment, so it's not really an issue. Almost ex takes care of most things and is there to take care of the kids when I'm a mess.

Of course, I would like them to have most of their education in Australia. That's what I need to focus on - being stable so I can take them back to have the education I want to give them. Not some half baked developing-country education with archaic discipline methods. The way I am now, or have been, almost ex wouldn't have a bar of letting me take them back.

Something to spur me on in the effort to get better control over my emotions. I must do it.