... or Selamat Tahun Baru Cina.... or Happy Chinese New Year.
It's the third cause for celebration in the last 6 weeks for us. The economic downturn has shown it's ugly face here. People are not celebrating much. The decorations are minimal and people are not really in a celebratory mood. And it's quiet. Too quiet. A normal Chinese New Year sees the skies bursting with fireworks most nights and though there were some last night, there are minimal tonight. In fact, in previous years, I can remember staying up with my son for about 3 or 4 nights in a row, to comfort him from the noise. It was a good excuse for a 'sleepover at mummy's'. Nice.
Last night we had our family reunion dinner at my brother in laws. The older brother from KL was down with his family - wife, 2 sons 5 and 2 and their maid. Mom in law had cooked all her special dishes, I made garlic prawns, sis in law had cooked the meat and some vegetables. It was a little stressful getting it all together, but we managed to have a nice dinner after all. Ang pows (lucky red envelopes) were given to the kids. These red packets contain money and are the equivalent of the Christmas present. My in laws and I played gin rummy with special gin rummy tiles. An addictive, fun game to gamble the night away with. I lost the 10 dollars I'd gained the night before.
Ex had quite the night at the pub, certainly more interesting than mine. One of his staff walked out after having a tiff with a family member, another went off the rails after a customer had spiked her drink, but not before ex had to tell her off for hoarding customers and then not being able to serve them. And this was all after another staff member had split her dress and had to be driven home by one of ex's mates to change. These girls don't have their own transport and they tend to have rather unstable personalities. Every time ex tells me a story about one of them doing this or that or going off the rails, I can't help but think that I've contributed to him being able to handle these girls, what with our past and everything. Eckhart Tolle says we are all having these experiences because we need to have them. Given what ex has to deal with, Tolle seems to have hit the nail on the proverbial head. HAH! Who would have guessed!
So back to Chinese New Year. Today is the first day of the Lunar New Year. It's the year of the OX. I think my brother's an ox and those who know us, would understand the irony of that. He's 6'4" and quite the opinionated, stubborn little darling - who now has 4 gorgeous kids - often reminds me of an ox. In fact, I think I used to call him an ox when we were kids!
Being the first day means we get to travel 2 hours south to a town called Kluang, where ex's fathers family house resides. The big, old California style bungalow is set on a big block of land and the house can accommodate many people, having 4 bedrooms, a big kitchen, 2 bathrooms and extra toilet and many interesting photos of family days gone by. This year was a little quiet. A cousin had passed away earlier last year, so although his mum and dad were there, his wife and baby weren't, my mom in law had the flu so whe didn't go, another family decided that skiing in Japan was a better way to spend Chinese New Year and someone elses father had passed away so they couldn't attend. Yet, although it was quiet, it was nice. The kids played together, I got to talk to those I normally talk to for a longer time than normal because there weren't many people around, we went for lunch in a restaurant and had an 8 course meal, the kids behaved themselves and ate a decent amount (much to my relief) and we were able to drive home without too much hassle.
Our timing was good today. When we arrived on the outskirts of Kluang, we encountered a police block that had only just started, so we were waved through without having to wait. I swear, of all days to have a police road block, they chose today. It's like the government are trying to piss the Chinese community off on purpose. Four hours later, on the way back, we saw the same police block, this time with a traffic jam of at least 2 - 3 kilometers. Those poor, unsuspecting people, crawling along in their cars, trying to get to lunches and dinners to celebrate with family, being held up for who knows what reason.
When I got up this morning, I didn't feel like going to Kluang, but in the end it was worth it and not just for the ang pow the kids got. I've known some of these people for 20 odd years and though they are ex's family, they have always welcomed me and sometimes they feel like my family, even though I don't connect with them in the way I do with my own folks. The two old aunties who live there always clean the house and cook for us when we are down. The older one is a retired maths teacher and the other one has never worked, though she has looked after the babies of family members and has always just been there. Some say she's a bit 'slow', but I've always found her to be quite nice and she likes me and the kids. She always has a kind word, even if it is in broken English and she's always delighted to see us. Her tiny 4'10" frame bustles around the house, clearing this and doing that. I often wonder what she does with her days when everyone is at home and her and her sister are there by themselves. Because she's never worked, her immediate family (15 siblings) have always contributed to support her. Families here are good like that, they support each other, I guess because they have to as there is no real welfare system here.
So that was Chinese New Year on the surface. Under the surface was a different story. My mind was racing again, unhappy with my judgement that ex treats everyone better than he treats me. He can walk into a room and say hello to everyone and barely acknowledge me. And it still hurts, like hell. He doesn't do it all the time, but he did yesterday and to add to that, he had this nice friendly banter going on with my sis in law from KL and they were laughing together and I. got. jealous. I was so furious with myself, feeling like that, like i had no right to feel like that, but there it was. I was thinking, why can't he talk to me that way, it would be so nice. Uggh, I make myself sick.
It's OK though. I'm OK now. I calmed myself with the knowledge that it's a superficial thing. He talks to her like that because he knows she likes it and she responds. Later, he will tell me what he was doing, playing to her personality like that. She thinks he's serious. I actually don't like that about him, it makes him seem manipulative somehow. And if I think about it like that, there's nothing to be jealous of.
It's 2.30 am now, I'm listening to my favourite blog music. Paul Potts, One Chance. I love this guys story. A want-to-be opera singer with no confidence in himself, working at Carphone Warehouse in Britain somewhere, auditions for Britain's Got Talent and blows the judges away with his voice. I've heard better opera singers (Anthony Warlow etc), but this guy with his 'little lump of coal turning into a diamond' story always manages to help put me in the right frame of mind for writing my blog. So now, I'm going to bed. Later in the week, ex said he'd like to close for a few day so that we can take the kids for a holiday. Oh no!
G'night.
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