It's already Wednesday, albeit only just (12.15am). Another day gone. Kids in bed a while ago, we all had a pretty good day. Woke up late-ish, then visited mom in law because she's sick and was unable to join us at Kluang on Monday. She caught the flu from ex's older brother, whom I saved from a night of misery with my collection of cold and flu meds. Now she has my collection. If she's not better soon, I'll take her to the doctor. See ex, I do make a difference.
While visiting with her, I cleaned her kitchen which was really oily from all the frying she does. She doesn't see the layers of grease building up (she is 70-odd after all), the scraps of paper building up behind the gas cooker that she uses, the oil stains on the walls and windows of her tiny kitchen. There's a lot of clutter in there, because she doesn't like to waste anything and her cleaning cloths are torn up clothing, so I found myself trying to dry the benches with an old sock and what was left of a t-shirt. Clothes don't clean kitchens well, which may be the reason her kitchen is dirty. Oh well, I'll keep a better eye on it for her so it doesn't get out of hand. The rest of her house is fine, just the kitchen that gets a little dirty.
After we'd eaten her leftover rice and the neighbour's curry for lunch (at her insistence), we left for home. At home, ex got talking about his night at the pub. He has a lot of 'interesting' things happen there, so he's always got stories to tell. Last night though, he'd upset a group of customers who'd spiked one of his waitresses' drinks by telling them they weren't allowed to do it. They got offended and left their mark by breaking a bottle on the footpath outside. You can't tell some people, they think they are right all the time, as this bunch seemed to think. Ex seems to be realising that a lot of the people in the world are selfish and self-centred, they talk big and do little or they give their opinion, whether they are asked about it or not. There are not many genuine people in this world. I think he's getting a little disillusioned about it all, which is a sad thing for him. Of course the ego in me is hoping that one day he'll look at me and decide that I'm not so bad after all - ahhh, the fantasies go on.... The rational me says that he'll continue to see me as one of those selfish, self-centred people he so despises.
For myself, I've come to the conclusion that all people have their flaws and being friends doesn't mean you have to like all the qualities that make up that person - you do have to decide which ones are important to you though.
My friends, K and W, are terribly disorganised, they (he) forgets things and really exists in his own little world. K, his wife, depends on him for everything, and won't even come away for a weekend because she thinks he'll disapprove. I don't like those qualities, but at the same time their friendship is important to me and we have fun when we are together. They've shown me love, acceptance and have listened to me when I needed to unload about ex and to me, those qualities outweigh all those things that niggle me a bit. I accept their flaws, deal with it when need be, but ultimately, I still want to maintain the relationship and help them out when I can.
Ex's tolerance for 'flawed people' is low though, which is something he blames on me. I've worn him down, lowered his annoyance threshold and made him weaker. I still can't rationalise this. It takes two to make problems and we had those problems because we are who we are, both of us, not just me. That's not to say it wasn't difficult for him, it was, but it wasn't all me. It wasn't.
I hope ex can accept that people are who they are and they won't ever live up to your expectations, because they are busy living up to their own. That's just the way it is with people. They live life by their own rules, not yours. Sometimes the rules are the same, but a lot of times they're different. I think they call it being human.
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