Shopping

Yesterday was huge day for all of us. What did we do? We went shopping. Here in Malaysia, shopping is a national pastime. Hordes and hordes of Malay and Chinese people flock to the shopping malls looking for the latest and greatest thing to buy that will make them happy. Or they are just there to walk around and stay cool and "use someone else's air conditioning" as I've heard my sis-in-law say.

Whatever it is, millions of people find it necessary to drive to a place where there never seems to be enough parking, despite the acres and acres of parking space and then crowd themselves into shopping malls where the choices of what to buy is positively astounding.

Shopping malls make my head spin. Yesterday we went to two of them in Johor Baru, which is city that forms the entrance way to Singapore and Indonesia. It's a biggish sprawling city where the people are many and the crime rate is high. To live securely down there you need to live in a condominium or gated community where the security is very tight. But going shopping there is OK - you go in and then get out, but I wouldn't live there.

Why did we go here? Actually my plan for yesterday was to go to Malacca, as per my usual trip - I have the whole "Going to Malacca" routine down pat. We leave at 9, get there at 11, eat at bakery, shop at Cold Storage (ex-pat supermarket), stash purchases in car then shop at Jusco supermarket. This is where I get fish, mince beef, chopped up chicken, ham, bacon, pork, great cheese, dark chocolate, button mushrooms, lovely butterhead lettuce, and a host of other things that we like to eat. After this we eat lunch, walk around a bit and then go home. We're normally home by 5 or 6, which is enough for all of us. Ex doesn't come with us on these trips because he's usually away and he had planned to be away this weekend but cancelled at the last minute, for who knows what reason. Then his mother told him she wanted to visit an old friend down in JB, so he asked if we could go there instead. I agreed, not wanting to seem difficult.

As I was saying, yesterday we went to two shopping malls. The first one was terrible. To me, it looked like there was stuff everywhere. When I go in, I need a few minutes to get my bearings, remember where I came in and just look around to see what's what. When I was looking at this place, nothing seemed to make sense. The layout was confusing, more like a labyrinth of temporarily placed shops than a spacious well thought out design. The anchor tenant (main shop) was Carrefour, a hypermarket like a Coles K-mart put together and then doubled in size. I was supposed to do my grocery shopping here, but although the pork was good, there wasn't any beef or nice fish, so that was it for me, I didn't want to shop there. Ex had said that if I couldn't get what I wanted, we could go to Jusco which was not far from where we were(not the same Jusco in Malacca). We walked around this place, meandering meaninglessly for about 2 hours, after which I was so exhausted, I took the kids to the bookshop, gave them a book each and proceeded to sit down and close my eyes. I was so tired, I could have slept there and then. I think it's the air quality in these places. Even back home, if I walk around a shopping centre for a few hours, I feel like a truck's hit me and I have to leave. I'm OK if I space it out and sit and drink coffee every hour and a half, but you can't always do that.

And I find the choice at shopping malls over the top. I prefer to have a few varieties to choose from, rather than hundreds. Something about having so much choice for everything makes me sick. Even for clothes and shoes for myself, I don't buy much. I have three pairs of shoes - surf sandals, slips ons for everyday and a pair of exercise shoes - that's it. My clothing is more extensive, but still very basic. I don't own a dress, I have 2 skirts and 2 pairs of shorts and a few pairs of pants. The rest are shirts and t-shirts. I've always thought that for a woman, I'm very low maintenance, but I digress.

So anyway, we completed the shopping trip, had lunch at a Japanese restaurnat and the kids were great - no fussing over their food and no spills or tantrums to embarrass ex. I'd bought the kids a small toy each and they were pretty happy. We finished around 5pm and then went and collected ex's mum from her friends place and drove home. Unusually, ex and I shared the driving this time because he needed to navigate. This is the one thing I think we do really well together. He's great at navigating and I'm a great at following directions so it works well. And we were both tired this time, so it allowed us to share the responsibility of driving.

It was an OK day I guess, given the stress that could have arisen because of this or that. We're both much better at letting things go now, which helps keep the peace and much more accepting of each other's mistakes. So if we miss a turn or get lost, there's no stress and we just deal with it in the best way we can. I always think about how nice this would have been if we could have done this during our marriage, but maybe we needed to go through all of that before being able to do what we do now - does that even make sense? I don't know and don't really care.

I just know that I'm here because of what I (and we) have been through. It had to happen the way it did, so no point regretting anything. But our shopping trips are always a good measure of how far we've come because of how many different opportunities there are to become stressed. And on Sunday, we dealt with everything, even each other. So I'm happy for that.

Tonight (Monday), as I'm writing this, I feel really good. I've just come from supper with not one, but two friends, the second one being the other Australian woman that has lived in Segamat for the last 20 years. I called her today to join my friend and I and she came along. We have so much in common, right down to the Dutch heritage but most importantly we share the same sense of humour. Western humour is different to Asian humour, so tonight we laughed together over a cup of green tea (I know, boring, but alcohol is expensive and I'm trying to cut down my calorie intake) and talked about shopping for meat, teeth, weight, food and the f-word. She's funny, laid back and very down to earth. And she thinks I'm funny - actually she said something like "gee, isn't she funny" to Kim, but she seemed surprised. This is not a side of me most people see because I'm quite reserved and shy, but if I'm comfortable with someone, I can talk forever and my sense of humour comes out and shows it's sarcastic arse!

It felt good being with the two of them - I think and hope the three of us will make good friends.

3 green teas - RM4.75
Time spent: 2 and a half hours (that seemed like 10 minutes)
Connection with like minds: Priceless.

:)