Well, as an update to the last post, the machine's been unblocked (I bet you've been wondering about that (not :) LOL. Ex got in there and got his hands dirty the day after he returned, unblocking the pipes and cleaning out all the little bits of rubber. It made me feel a bit dumb because that's the kind of thing I can handle myself, but still, I'm glad he handled it.
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I hate loud noises, is that OK with you, ex?
Yesterday we had a huge storm happen right over our neighbourhood. Great clapping booms of thunder and flashes of lightning every few minutes. Pounding rain almost filling up the drain and coming down onto the roof so loudly, you couldn't hear the tv. I was in my room getting dressed after showering when this huge clap of thunder rang out and a bolt of lightning came down and hit the ground just outside my window, sounding like it was going to blow the windows out. It literally frightened the pants back off of me - I dropped them while putting them on. Wanting to get out of my room really quickly to somewhere with no glass, I grabbed my pants and ran out of my room, only to run into ex, who was saying "Are you alright?" I wasn't. I was shaking and just trying to get my breath back so I could tell him, yes I was OK, but he started with the "It's OK, it's just thunder/lightning" with a tone that told me I was being stupid. I know what he was thinking - how can you be like this when you're an adult - adults, grown up people, shouldn't be like this, your a mother, how could you? (Note: he didn't say this, but he was thinking it, I could tell by the look on his face). But I am. I don't like really loud noises - I'm not talking the roar of a crowd or a concert or anything like that, but really loud thunder or military jets flying directly over always manage to get the adrenalin going. Nope, don't like (unexpected) loud noises.
And I must thank my lovely sister, who gave me hug over the phone and took my mind off the whole stupid matter. She said all the right things that made me feel normal, instead of like some wimpy freak. We talked for a while until I felt calmer and less angry at ex. I was angry because as she said, he's here, but not here for me. Not even a little bit. She hit the nail on the head.
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Meat market
I finally braved it and went to the wet market, where local sellers will sell you fresh meat, fish, chicken and vegetables. I really don't like the wet market. It stinks, it's dirty and there's not a fridge in sight. Regardless, plenty of people buy their fresh produce there. I'm so sick of Giant and their not-so-fresh stuff that I decided to go with friend who could introduce me to some of the vendors so that they know that I'm a friend of hers and won't try to rip me off. It does happen. One time at a fruit stall one guy tried to charge me 45 Ringgit for some fruit that actually only cost 26 Ringgit. When I started adding up the amounts in Malay, he quickly changed his mind. Orang Bodoh (stupid person). So now I have an Indian fishmonger who speaks English, a vegie seller who speaks English and I know the chicken man, so I can get fresh meat whenever I need it. But you know, it's almost too fresh. After I'd purchased the chicken, my hand touched the bag and it was warm - but the warmth wasn't from the sun, it was the body heat of a chicken that had only just been slaughtered. Ewwww. I think I like a little more distance with my meat - distance as in time taken from the slaughterhouse to the fridge. Quick as I could, I came home and put it all in the fridge and pretended it was just normal chicken from the supermarket. That worked until I had to take it out again and reclean it as some of the icky bits hadn't been removed, even thought I'd specified 'no head or guts please'. I will have to learn how to say that in Chinese. "Wo bu yau..." (I don't want...) - I'm half way there.
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And finally, I got another lovely sms from one of my students mother's today. She's the one who thanked me before because her daughter "now can talk many". This week her daughter has exams (as do my kids) so today I gave her and her sister a practice paper. My student got quite a few answers wrong, something I wasn't expecting and I told her mum and then said something like, don't worry, I'll help her to understand and next year she will do better in the exams. She sent back this:
"Thankyou for your show consideration. Very happy meet you. You are the BEST"
:) I do love her messages, not just because of what they say, but also because she puts a lot of effort into writing them. So sweet.
2 comments:
These reflections and insights on your blog you say are a wonderful way of expressing yourself.
Here is a little feedback for you.
It occurs (then reoccurs) to me occasionally “when hearing or reading something that initially sounded obvious, that with further thought is so right and true that it adds depths of understanding and clarity you didn't have before”.
It really does pay to listen and / or read what people are saying and rather than take it all in at nothing more than face value we should seek out those little nuances.
How about a few little bits that I cherry picked from your last blog.
• Women do not do drains! Ok this is NOT sexist. My question is why is it that of all the messy things that women do when raising children (and NEVER quibble) they do not clean a drain? YUK they say of the drain. Heaven help me. Give me a drain any day. I suppose I should complete this little portion for women with a question “why is it that women cannot lift a 3Kg shopping bag yet the smallest woman can carry a 10Kg child all day as they visit the zoo without tiring?” If I am not verbally bludgeoned to death with the replies I might then be game enough to ask about changing car tyres.
• As child I thought I went to my parents when afraid of the thunder. Having read the second paragraph is it possible that my parents were running to me?
• The third paragraph again confirms the obvious. There is something comforting about family. Why is it that even as adults, with our own lives, some distance and time apart the family is there?
• The forth paragraph develops one of those universal truths regarding purchasing raw meat from Asian markets. I cannot recall the name of that Westerner who coined the warning phrase as he possibly lay on his death bed. This paragraph reminded me of the butcher in Korea breaking up the frozen chops by smashing the meat on the public footpath. Here the butcher would be jailed, when it happens in Asia it is applauded as just another of those delightfully esoteric Asian traits.
• Within your last paragraph is the sort of feedback that would gladden any normal person. Who amongst us would not feel rewarded by the thoughtful sentiments expressed in that note?
Sorry I have not visited the blog recently.
I promise to your jottings more regularly.
Will you still publish when you are in Oz?
RE: women don't do drains - that's an easy one. We love our children like nothing else on earth - we do not love our drains!!! It's the same thing about carrying kids. We love our kids and so, have the strength to carry them. I hate grocery shopping, why would I want to exert the effort to carry the bags when ex can do it for me?
As for tyres, well, I change my own if I can work out the jack, but those nuts get awfully tight, dontcha know!
Yes, Asian markets are full of those lovely habits. Next time my fries are frozen into a solid block of ice, I'll give the footpath method a go. LOL
And I'm glad you still have time to read and reply occasionally. Now that I'm MUCH more stable, the writing isn't as interesting, but it still helps me put things into perspective, as you say. I like that quote.
And I will publish while I'm in Oz. I want to keep a record the differences both in myself and in the life we experience there.
Cheers
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