Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Past week is the past

Well, here I am, connected for another five minutes before I'm disconnected again. Frustration has been the dominant feeling this week. Of course, if I was living in the present as Tolle suggests we should, I wouldn't be having the week I've had. I clearly need to read and remember more.

Ex is living in the moment and doing gloriously well for himself. Nothing seems to shake his new found happy demeanor. I know what it's like to be there, I've been there (and back down again) and it's a place I wish I could be all the time, but I find it incredibly difficult to break free of the bonds my ego has on me. I will keep on working at it.

The common theme running through the last week or even two, has been the lack of control I've felt that I have over my life at the moment. Mum is sick and I can't help her. Of course I want to jump on the next plane and be there for her, while she's in hospital, but really there's not much that I can practically do. Perhaps when she's out (another month) then I might go over. Even then, the most amount of time I'd want to be away for without the kids is two weeks. And then there's the money side of things. I can afford a ticket now (AUD 600 with Emirates from KL - great price) but in a month's time, it's going to cost twice that amount.

Then there's been the internet thing where I can't seem to stay connected for more than a few minutes at a time.

Shit. Out of time again.

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