There's a sense of desperateness in the air or, at least, that's what I'm feeling. Ex has been attempting to secure the release of his superannuation account back home, but has been unsuccessful. There was a little ray of hope when he thought the visa he was under was considered temporary, but further investigation has revealed that to not be true and the money will have to stay there until he is 55. He's 46 now so he's got a little wait ahead of him.
This has upset him a little and awakened in him a determination to get from the Aust. govt all that we are entitled to! As he spoke, he mentioned that when the kids come back with me, I should make sure that I get all the benefits I'm entitled to. I should also go back and make sure that our daughter is documented as being in my custody. He asked whether I had already done this and I said no. According to the authorities, she is still in his care. Any benefits I get now as a result of lodging tax returns are for only one child - and for reasons I can't state, I'd rather leave it that way. He told me that I should be claiming for two. He won't contest custody or fight me for them in any way and that I should take the necessary steps to ensure that the authorities know that she is in my care. To do this, I need to front up to the welfare office in person, with her by my side, so I will do that this December. He doesn't want the money, stating instead that I should save it and spend it on the children. I asked him if he wanted some money, saying I had access to about $1000 that I could give him. He said no, he doesn't want the money, I am to save it for the kids and use it when they come back with me. I guess my point here is that when he starting talking about "what are we entitled to..." from the govt, I thought he was wanting to access that money. But he doesn't. He just wants to make sure that we are getting whatever it is we are entitled to because he spent years paying taxes there and now the govt doesn't want to hand over his super! Ok then. Of course all this has left me wondering how it is that he is going to move out into an office, even if it is just a room with a chair, desk and an internet connection. What with no money and all.
Back to the conversation. We didn't say much more after that. I just said OK, I will (make sure that I'm getting whatever from the government), and walked quietly away. I wanted to be deliriously happy, but that would have just been bad form and I wasn't anyway. I was shaking and just very quietly, pleased. I'm not one to shove something in your face, that's just not me - unless you happen to be wearing a t-shirt I absolutely have to have!
This definitely does seem to be going my way at the moment. The situation is steering itself towards its natural consequences and for that I am grateful. Send me positive thoughts people and though I have yet to book tickets, I will most certainly see you in December.
(huge sigh of relief, but wary thoughts still hanging around in the back of my mind).
5 comments:
Cautious optimism?
I suspect the best outcome might be that sooner, rather than later, he might “allow” all three of the Australian citizens at the house to permanently leave for Australia.
From what you have said there is a significant change there within the house and I am hoping it is for the better.
Sadly as you seem to be “standing taller” it appears he seems to be struggling with issues totally unrelated to the relationship.
While you are NOT the cause of his business problems it is unfortunate that all is not going as well as he would like.
Does it appear that there is acceptance between the adults that a return to Australia for you and the kids is nigh?
Opening and closing with questions, good grief something is happening with my wrist....it is going limp!
Best to all.
That indeed sounds positive. Yay Jo. Are you coming in Dec for another visit or to live? I can't remember the timeline but I didn't think it was that early.
At least he wants to provide (as much as poss) for the kids...
x
PS word verif = mingsbor. I like it!
Mr S, yes, cautious optimism, those were the words I was looking for. I am cautiously optimistic that it is what you have stated.
As for the time line Melba, we still have a year and a half to go. We will come back in December for a holiday only, then return the year after to live. I would be prepared to come back much sooner, should the need arise.
I really hope he makes some gains with his business stuff. You're right, it's not my fault and I can't help him. He does want to provide, I know it, it's just his other issues holding him back.
Questions much preferred over statements starting with "you should..."
cheers for now
PS Melba, I like your word verifs lately too.
Have just caught up with the latest guys. Jo i think after reading the last two post that what has happened in his case is a realisation that not only is the Aust Govt not going to comply with his idea of what should happen but also that they have a lot to offer in the way of support to you and the children if you are living in the country.
Not to put a moz on anything but he will probably be looking at it as a way of relieving the burden (financial) on him??? Would I be totaly wrong in thinking this way.
I am ecstatic at the thought of you comming home with full custody.
Sorry I have not caught up sooner and as am working between Vic and QLD at the moment.
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