Daily Diary Sunday - the shopping trip

Left home around 9-ish to go to Johor Baru so in order to buy a decent present for my daughter who is turning 10 on Tuesday. Son was worried that we hadn't 'packed' enough, forgetting that this was a day trip instead of an overnighter. The drive was good, not many cars on the road and the car is travelling better now than it has in months. The repairs to the spark plugs, back end, wheel bearings and the new starter motor means that we have a car that's actually road worthy but ex is about RM1000 poorer.


At the almost there mark, ex asks me if I can remember the turn off? Skudai highway, Kota Tinggi or Pasir Gudang. Oh no! I don't know why he asks me because I can never remember - why can't I ever remember. Then I do remember. I consult my phone which has a note entered from the last time we made this trip. Note says take turn off to pasir gudang and follow big sign to terbrau city. Ex says it's useless because it doesn't tell us the landmarks leading up to the turn-off. As he's saying this, we pass a turnoff to Skudai and he thinks we should have turned there. His stress face and my anxiety level increases accordingly. I assume he's right and proceed to shut up. We drive on, not having much choice to do otherwise and ex changes his mind. This is looking familiar, he speculates, ah, yes, this is the right way. So you're saying I'm right then, I suggest, wanting to be right. This is correct, the other way is longer, I remember now, he says. We spot the correct turn off and onwards we go, still not sure if we are going to find this place in a timely manner. We proceed to a flyover where I'm expecting to see a huge sign pointing us to this place. The sign is gone, I get confused, ex doesn't know either and we miss the turn. We have to drive on for a couple of k's before we can make a U-turn. Cue lecture on including all landmarks in notes to tell us how to get there. Eventually we do and there's a line of six cars at every entrance to the parking lot. Cue lecture, we should leave earlier next time to ensure we get a parking spot. We go in and the parking lot is half empty and we get a decent car space.Cue thoughts: we left on time, it's OK, we don't need to leave at 8am next time to get here.


We go for lunch. Ex insists that we try something different and we end up at a try-too-hard-mexican place with teriyaki chicken on the menu. That's certainly different. The wait staff are wearing cowboy hats, trying to look Mexican. That's different too. Nearly every 'mexican' dish has chilli in it, so I'm reduced to ordering the teriyaki chicken 'pizzarina', whatever the hell that is, and we order nachos and dips and some bruschetta (isn't that Italian) - hmmm, very mexican. We order milkshakes too, which are fantastic, by the way. But the food - ho-hum. Nachos and dips is really thin warmed corn chips and with mayo and thousand island dressing (???) and the pizzarina is a toasted flat bread sandwich with teriyaki chicken inside. The kids loved it, but for me, it's the last time I visit a mexican restaurant having an identity crisis.

So on with the shopping. Ex suggests I go off and have some time to myself. My daughter looks at me pleadingly and I go anyway, off to try on some clothes if possible. My size does not make this easy but I find a shop that stocks XXL. I try on some white jeans and bright tops and it all looks terrible so I look at the kids clothes and buy a nice little T-shirt dress for my niece and talk to my sister on the phone instead. It's a nice 15 minute interlude. I then proceed to 'have time to myself' and I don't know what to do so I go to the toy store to suss out the birthday present for my daughter. Of course, who do I run into but ex and the kids. He promptly hands them to me and goes off to have some time to himself. We look at LEGO (my son's current interest) and science stuff for my daughter and she makes a wish list which I later choose from. We go to the bookstore and browse and I buy 'EAT PRAY LOVE' by Elizabeth Gilbert.

Ex meets us at the bookshop and takes daughter while I take son to buy a present for her. Son's job is to choose a present that he thinks she will like (as opposed to buying her LEGO which he likes) and he does and we take it down to the car. After that we browse through the shops a bit and I get a call from ex asking me if I've finished my grocery shopping yet because he wants to go home. Cue anxiety attack! No, I say, I'm just going now and as I'm talking, I'm walking and dragging son to the supermarket. Give me another 20 minutes I say. OK, he says and tells me to buy some cookies or something so we can have afternoon tea in the car. I should have said that I didn't know we were leaving so early, so while I go grocery shopping, can you take the kids for afternoon tea and we'll leave after that! I can never think on my feet.

I had no idea I was supposed to finish the grocery shopping as well. There was no plan! See, we need plans. I race around the supermarket trying to get only those things that I can't get in my town and end up with 4 packets of mince beef (Australian) and some other stuff, but because there seems to be a million people in there, I start to stress (I hate crowds) and sweat and can feel a headache coming on. While standing in line to pay, I call ex and ask him to come to me. He does and I want him to take over but instead, I just give him the parking ticket to pay. He goes and I pay and then I wait for him to come back. The anxiety is increasing and I keep willing him to turn up. I try to look for him amongst the crowd of Chinese people who look just like him, but it's useless and I'm committed to standing there waiting for him because he said he'd come back. I get sick of waiting and take son and shopping to bakery to buy afternoon tea and as I'm pulling out some money, I also look at my phone which now has '1 unread message' on it. It's from ex telling me he's waiting at the entrance to the car park. I pay and tell my son to hang on, mummy's got to get out of here. I'm not rushing to ex, I'm rushing to get away from the people, the crowd and the noise which seems to be getting louder. With son hanging on to my back pocket I'm almost running and finally, we are in the clear. I see ex, who is sitting calmly with my daughter on a bench, waiting. We go to the car, load the shopping, hand out the afternoon tea, leave the car park and everything is OK.

On the drive home, despite a cracking headache, I take copious notes on the directions for getting back home (for the time when I want to come by myself) and then fall into a post shopping mall stupor. An hour into the drive, I've recovered enough to suggest we buy dinner before we get home. We do just that and the rest of the night passes peacefully. Ex goes out later leaving me and the kids to ourselves and all is OK. But I do really hate shopping.

And that was Sunday.