This song, by Orianthi, is one of my favourites. Read the lyrics and you'll see why -
According to you
I'm stupid,
I'm useless,
I can't do anything right.
According to you
I'm difficult,
hard to please,
forever changing my mind.
I'm a mess in a dress,
can't show up on time,
even if it would save my life.
According to you. According to you.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
According to you
I'm boring,
I'm moody,
you can't take me any place.
According to you
I suck at telling jokes cause I always give it away.
I'm the girl with the worst attention span;
you're the boy who puts up with it.
According to you. According to you.
But according to him
I'm beautiful,
incredible,
he can't get me out of his head.
According to him
I'm funny,
irresistible,
everything he ever wanted.
Everything is opposite,
I don't feel like stopping it,
so baby tell me what I got to lose.
He's into me for everything I'm not,
according to you.
I need to feel appreciated,
like I'm not hated. oh-- no--.
Why can't you see me through his eyes?
It's too bad you're making me decide.
And so it goes on - I wish the chorus was true. Yesterday I was singing along with this song on the radio and my daughter stopped me and said "Oh, this is like Papa isn't it? Like you know how he is with you?"
Two years ago, she dumbfounded me by asking "Mummy, why does Papa hate you so much?"
I told her then that I didn't know and he didn't hate me, he just didn't like some of the things I was doing. Again, I don't know if it was the right thing to say -maybe I've scarred her for life. I do know that that I don't want her to think that this is a normal occurrence. I want her to know that that the man you marry should like you for who you are and that he's not there to point out all your little flaws.
I feel so bad that she notices the tension. What do I say to her? I don't know what to say without making ex seem like the bad guy (which i think he is but I don't want her to know that). So, in response to her question I also said something along the lines of "You know, everyone has things about other people that annoy them and so there are things that I do that annoy Papa." I didn't want to lie to her - she can see it for herself what goes on - but I didn't want to trash ex either.
How do I handle this? I don't know.
And to my sister, this is what I wanted to tell you on the phone the other day when I couldn't remember what it was that I wanted to tell you. :)
Cheers
1 comment:
Hmmmm. It's a tough one.
You could say "hate's a very strong word." I'm sure he doesn't hate you. Don't you think? That wouldn't be a lie, but you would have to be careful saying anything that might get (innocently) repeated back to him.
'Oh that's just Papa," said in a light voice? "He doesn't mean it."
Maybe verging on untrue but it protects your daughter, and that's the number one priority.
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