I got through it.

Sounds like torture doesn't it. Of course, I'm talking about Saturday night's 'dance party' courtesy of my good friends here who paid for my ticket and insisted that I go after I told them I hadn't been to any function like this in what seemed like years - and I really think it has been that long. The last time I got 'dressed up' in anything that didn't resemble jeans and a t-shirt, I think I was getting married and that was 10 years ago. Yes, I know, I don't get out much.

So there I was, long black skirt, my black glitter t-shirt and new shiny black shoes with a little bling on them. I'm so awkward in a skirt, uggh! I don't like wearing them because I'm just not comfortable but I thought I'd better match the occasion this time. Not that it was a really big function but 200 other people all dressed up and ready to dance and party (without alcohol mind) was reason enough.

So there I was, smokey eyes and hair swished over, in a skirt for the first time in years and at least looking the part, and my dance instructor came over and asked me to accompany him on the floor- and I froze. I was MORTIFIED, and yet at the same time slightly pleased, but not really, that he'd thought to ask me. But I couldn't. Mostly because there was no-one else dancing and it would have been just us, but also because I'm really not good enough and I didn't want to embarrass myself or him so I strongly declined. I hurriedly said, maybe later and he was kind enough not to force me. I was so grateful for that. I just couldn't imagine being out there, all eyes on us, in a black outfit with flaming red cheeks (and I do get embarrassed easily, as Mr S well knows).

The thing about these kinds of functions here is that there's no alcohol. Not a beer nor a bottle of wine or anything. There's chinese tea, but when it comes to getting some liquid courage, that doesn't quite cut it. After he'd asked me to dance with him, I was really wishing I'd bought some with me but if I had, I would have been the only one on my table drinking and that wouldn't be a good look. So I had to scrape up my own courage later on, when he again asked me to dance and this time insisted I join him. As he took my left hand, my right hand reached out to my two friends, K and W, and dragged them along with me. At least they had each other and I was so glad that I had them.

Dancing with him, I was all nerves, so had to keep counting and taking deep breaths. I did OK, only taking a few wrong steps which he laughed off. But I knew what he was doing. He wanted to boost my confidence, push me to the boundaries of my comfort zone (which I was already way out of, thanks to the skirt and shoes) and make me feel like I was part of the crowd. There was no other agenda and I certainly wasn't the only one he danced with. In a way, I'm glad he did - at least it meant I actually got up out of my chair for something other than visiting the loo and it showed me that I can do it. But I really could have used a drink afterwards.

It turned out to be a fun night. A professional belly dancer entertained us, there were some demonstration line dances by some of the other students and a bit of a 'disco' at the end. Afterwards, a small group of us went out for supper and ate, drank (more) tea and talked and laughed.

So it was a good night. I did actually enjoy myself and during the function, as I looked around I realised that I've managed to create a good life for myself here, despite the fact that I don't actually like living here. I have good friends who think of me, I get to go out and socialise and I even get asked to dance (in all my years, that's never happened at home!!!)