So, how are you?

I'm OK.

My crappy on again, off again can't-figure-out-the-hell-why internet connection is bugging the shit out of me, but really, I'm pretty good. The new school term has resumed and really, the kids are getting a little weary with the whole school thing. Daughter is getting braver (and more insistent) with her questions about next year. She asks what would I LIKE to happen, do I think it WILL happen one day that she gets to study in Australia. I asked her how often she thought about it. She said a LOT. I keep giving her lame, vague answers to her questions - we'll have to see what happens, I don't know yet, we live here for now, so lets concentrate on that followed by you'll get through this - even though I don't want them to have to get through this. If I was being honest, I'd say I was pretty grumpy about the whole school thing really, because I see the side that the kids don't want ex to see.

The maths teacher beat my son because he was careless. I spotted him supervising after school and really, it was all I could do to stop from poking that bastard with my umbrella. I wanted to let it go, but I couldn't. I thought that if I don't say something to him I condone his actions - and I so don't want to do that. But standing up for myself and even my kids sometimes is hard for me. I hate confrontation and would rather just walk away. I get too emotional, too self conscious (which has always been a big problem for me, just ask Mr Scorpio). But I thought it in the best interests of my son that I say something. So I folded my arms and off I went. I could practically hear the kids thinking 'please don't let mummy make a scene and embarrass us". :)

So I asked him first whether my son had a problem with maths. He does - he's very careless. Really he is. I checked his books. He borrows and carries in all sorts of wrong ways and even though he writes '+' he'll do '-' and then change halfway and finish with a '+'. And my son has a tough time admitting he has a problem. He makes up all sorts of excuses about it and then just gets so upset. He's like his mum in so many ways and on top of that, he's so emotional about it all.

So I told this teacher that I would work on his carelessness and that as a teacher myself, I'm not used to the idea that kids will get beaten for a few mistakes on their exams. I then let him know that the articles in the paper say that the government does not recommend this form of discipline and so could he understand where I was coming from. He replied yes and then we set about stating how we could help my son get better grades next time. I felt better about it and we all went home.

This week the school schedule changes again. The kids start extra classes after school - supposedly to reinforce what they've been learning in school. It's 2 hours a day, 3 days a week. So the kids are out of the house from 7am until 4pm. I see them each day at 1.20 because I will bring them lunch. If I pack their lunch in the morning, it just gets too much to carry - they'd need 3 bottles of water and 2 lunch boxes, so I'd rather take it to them and if it's hot, they can sit in the car with me and cool down. We are going to try this for a month. If it's too stressful, then I will stop it and hopefully ex will see what a stress school is here. I mean he knows it is, but he plays it down so it doesn't seem so bad to the kids. I guess that's a good idea - I do it too but I don't like it.

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The fish have started dying off again. Everything was going so well until ex changed the water. Now 4 adult are dead and we only have 1 baby fish left. The baby is swimming around crazily in it's own tank thinking - WTF happened to everyone else - where is everyone????? I think when ex cleaned the tank, he used chlorinated water from the tap without letting it sit long enough to 'season'.

The fish are good - the kids like the fish but it's one of those things that I don't want them to get attached to because that will make the future harder. But I can't stop ex doing this. It's been a great project to share with the kids and daughter loves it, she's very involved in looking after them and thinking about what might come next - more fish, another tank... so I appreciate this for what it is as well.

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Saw a movie - Atonement - I can't even tell you who was in it, but I loved it. Really good! Different, interesting and refreshing. Took me a while to get into it at first but I stuck with it and was glad I did. I'll watch it again soon.

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Read a book

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert - she of the Eat Pray Love fame. Loved this too. She's so human and life's worked out for her because she thought about stuff, she researched it and she had good things coming to her because of her courage to live an authentic life.

She writes about marriage and what it means in society to be married and what it means to people (and especially her) personally to be married. She made me think about my own marriage and why I did it when I did and what I was expecting from it and the whole living in a committed relationship deal. I can tell you now, I was not ready for either. But that's another blog post.