This will pass. this will pass. he's angry at me. this will pass this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. he said do we have anything on this weekend. i said, i thought you were going away. (he's going away to pick up our son's visa). he will take the car and be away for a night, maybe two or three. he said i'm trying to decide if i go on friday or monday. i said, do you know if segamat has any car rental places (meaning maybe I could rent a car if I wanted to take the kids somewhere. Bang!this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass. this will pass this will pass.this will pass this will pass this will pass.
I asked him to explain, because I know there's more to it than what I write here or what I see. he said don't try to put this on me and don't come in and ask these sorts of questions. go away. I went.
i feel sick. i will watch tv and let this pass. he will go out and i won't have to see him again tonight. I feel terrible. if only i could take back those stupid words.
5 comments:
It's an impossible task, to live life without 'rocking the boat'. To guard your words, and thoughts and actions lest they 'offend' someone never works. I've tried it, to suppress everything, my opinions, my emotions, everything that was me because I knew it wouldn't be accepted, and I didn't have the energy for another futile attempt at being heard, respected.
Remember Jo, your voice, your opinion, your independence and your anger are all just as valid as his. You do not have to thank him, or apologise for any of them. And loosing sight of any of these for his convenience will ultimately hurt you.
Hugs.
Thankyou for your wise words and hugs. It is proving very difficult, but if I share an opinion, we fight and it will make this delicate situation worse. So no fighting, no opinion. Most of the time he doesn't even ask and I don't want to share. We're still civil, but just very superficially.
The strong, bad feelings have passed now, like I knew they would and I'm back to 'normal'. thanks again. x
don't say they were stupid words. there is nothing that you have written here that looks wrong or provocative to my eyes. obviously he thought by you asking about car hire place that you were stating he should hire a car and leave you the car. his interpretation is wrong, clearly. and he wouldn't hear you try to explain.
this is very very difficult, nay, impossible territory. i have been there, for years. years of misunderstanding piled on top of misunderstanding with my ex-husband. but the really tricky thing is, there might have been something behind the words, but the words themselves are innocent. do you know what i mean? so how can they jump to the conclusions? it's because there are years of "bad blood" so no matter what you say, or what your intentions, things will always be interpreted negatively.
hugs from me too darl.
xxx
I know exactly what you mean Melba. There probably was something behind the words, even though I would have denied it at the time. I know the bad blood that poisons everything will never change and I'm slowly coming to terms with it. It's sad, but thats life. I can only try and make sure that I don't make it worse. Be stable, polite and bide my time. Not ideal, but that's reality.
Thanks again.
Miz, you've said you tried it and it didn't work. But after you realised it wouldn't work, what did you do?
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