what he really is

When I re-read the last post, it makes almost ex sound like he NEVER interacts with us. He does, at home. He plays with the kids everyday, talks to them, helps our daughter with her homework, takes us out on public holidays, takes us to KL to visit his brother and kids, and occasionally we go out for dinner or lunch. In this way, we try to maintain a normal family life for the kids.

He is a good father and when he needs to deal with their bad behaviour, he does and the kids listen to him. He's good at teaching them about life, listening to others, thinking and being considerate of other people. My daughter even says so. I wish my interpersonal skills were as good as his.

He sees things about people and human behaviour that I don't see. He is aware of his own behaviour too and sometimes doesn't like what he sees. But, because of this awareness, he expects everyone to see what he does and they/ i /we don't. It can make him seem arrogant and even a little bit snobby.

He's gentle, usually patient, quietly spoken (he never shouts), intelligent, thorough, loyal and generous with his time and money (when he has it and sometimes when he doesn't). He can be critical.

He doesn't hit me, belittle me, or in any other way, treat me badly. But he does want better, even when I think it doesn't have to be better. His motto is "there's always a better way", which is probably true but I would always fight him for it ie what's wrong with the way I'm doing it?

He's not a monster or a bastard, but he does have his own problems and failings which, in our relationship, never got any air time. At one stage, I thought he was trying to blame his failings on me... I still think this sometimes, but I know that some are just about him and not about me at all.

I have an incredible talent for making everything about me - ie jo, this cup is still dirty... you need to clean it better. Me: are you trying say I'm a dirty person. I'm not dirty, you're just fussy blah, blah, blah

But it get tiring - always having to do something another, better way, instead of just the way you'd usually do it. And having someone constantly looking over your shoulder, to see if you could be doing it better. I think so anyway, and since this is my blog, I'm allowed to say it how I see it. This blog is my reality and what I'm thinking, not what I think I should be thinking because it's going to placate somebody else.

cheers