A new routine

Today the pub opened. He left at 8.20 and won't be back til about 4am. Maybe later. In the morning, I'm predicting he will sleep late, get up in time for lunch, spend some time with the kids and prepare the pub for tomorrow night, have dinner and then the new routine will start all over again. The kids will see him in the afternoon, but when they go back to school in January, they won't see much of him at all because they will both be attending school in the afternoons.

I was surprised and a little glad (i'm so mean) to see him being quite nervous about his first day. It's good to see him a little ruffled, having to cope with the unknown and the unexpected and then deal with it all himself. It takes the arrogance away and makes him seem more like the rest of us. It softens him a little and shows his vulnerabilities, something I hardly saw in him when we were a couple. I wasn't afraid to help him through it either. I ironed his shirts (after he asked nicely), made sure he had all his things on him - keys, phone, wallet, money - got him dinner and helped him out the door (opened the padlock on the gate etc). In the past, I really didn't think to look out for him because I was too caught up in myself. Even when he reminded me to help him, I'd forget. So it's good to be able to give back to him a little.

For this to be successful, he's really going to have to put in the work. It's a good opportunity for him, especially given that the other things he is doing to try and make money, are really not working. The other day I took a risk and decided to share some of my 'new earth' wisdom and told him that maybe this is the experience he needs to have to get his arse into gear. And you know what he said? He said "hmmm, maybe you're right!" Wow, that took me by surprise because that's such a rare line in our household. Maybe you're right! I'm right! me? Moi? Yes me. Cool.

Of course, now that I know that being right is not such a big deal, it didn't make me ecstatically happy the way I thought it would. When we were together, with all the dysfunctionality and criticising, I would have given my right arm to hear that. But now, not so much. Of course I can appreciate the positiveness of it all, I just don't care as much about it. It was still surprised though. And of course the thoughts start to creep in - maybe I'm making progress, maybe some of his anger is subsiding, maybe he does see the changes, maybe.... no, not going there.

So we'll see how things pan out. There are going to be disadvantages to him doing this job. I told him that if I get unhappy about something, I'll talk to him about it first. Good he said, because last time you left! Ok, then. You see, with him working at night, 7 days a week, my social life is about to take a huge dive downwards. At night is when I see my friends, when we go out for supper and chat til all hours. It's a very important part of my life and not something I am willing to give up completely. He did say that he would see what he could do about it, but we'll wait for things to get going first. And who knows, maybe I'll be OK about it because I can see him putting in an effort.

So, it's all happening. It's 1.30 here and I need to sleep. This week, I've had a very sick kid, a slightly sick kid, I'm sick right now and we've all been preparing for this night to start. It's been a biggie. Time to start thinking about our Christmas plans, and I need to figure out how I'm going to get to KL and back, what with the new routine and all. The books I want to buy for the kids Christmas presents are at Borders, in KL. Love that bookshop. It's where I bought 'A New Earth' for just 39.00 ringgit (about AUD $15.00) - bargain. But getting there now is going to be a little more difficult, but I'm sure we'll figure out something.

So on we go, in a new direction, each of us having 'the experience we need to have'! Ha! Cheers :)