Anxiety

I've just had an anxiety attack, but I'm recovering now. It wasn't bad, but enough to send me to my room and lock the door. I don't know what set it off. The kids were being demanding, wanting food every hour. I'm sure I feed them. We had breakfast (bread and juice) at 10am and by 10.50, they were wanting lunch. Maybe I'm not feeding them the right foods. I don't know. Maybe they're bored and are asking for food to entertain themselves? I don't know.

Ex got up. I hate admitting it but sometimes I don't want him around. He can't see why not. It's not like he purposely makes things difficult. It's Ok though, I'm just whinging.

I feel bad for having this happen. It limits us and scares ex as he so pointedly put it on the way back from Kluang. Maybe I just need a break from the kids.

These days, things seem to be getting harder. I never know what to do for lunch and I don't know what to cook for dinner. I hate cooking and find myself wanting to retreat to my room often. It's just a tough patch. I know it will pass.

Time to make pizza for lunch.