The ups and downs of life

If I've got Borderline Personality Disorder, so have both my kids. Or it could be the other way around, maybe they are behaving normally, like kids do and I have been acting childish all my life. I will of course, be concerned if the former is true and I would prefer the latter to be true.

I say all this at the the end of a tumultuous morning that followed a perfectly fine weekend. I really had no idea that parenting would be such an up and down affair, particularly as the kids get older. I naively thought that things would get smoother, not the other way around.

Yesterday we went to KL to shop for books, clothes and meat, to visit family and to get out of our dirty little hick-town for a day. Ex closed the pub so that we wouldn't have to rush back. 6 hours of travelling there and back, 5 hours of shopping and walking around, having lunch etc and a few hours resting up, playing and eating some more at my brother-in-laws place have left us feeling tired and the kids a little cranky.

Unfinished homework had to be completed this morning, even though most of it got done on Saturday night. Daughter kept on thinking of things she'd forgotten to write up in her homework diary and son just wasn't being co-operative. So even though their tutor was here to help, the stress levels were still high. And my daughter, who's normally a very lovely girl, turns into a stressed-out little monster who cries and shouts and gets really, REALLY frustrated at not being able to finish the homework on time. So instead of actually completing her homework, she has to spend valuable chunks of time calming herself down. I can't begin to imagine how all the other students in her class cope, especially those 'down the line' who are not as capable as she is. She ranks 5th in her class in terms of student grades and what-have-you, so imagine the stress for student number 32? I wish I could talk to that guy's mother to see what she does to help him? Maybe she doesn't, maybe she lets him be and then he gets beatings at school? I hope not, but it's entirely possible. I think the reason I get stressed out is because I know what the consequences are (they get a ruler smack) if they don't get it done and I think I'd feel responsible for it.

Well, it's over now and what will be, will be. Things are quiet now, it's time to gather my thoughts and get ready for the next half of the day. Going to the autistic centre to help out, then back home, cook dinner and then out again to teach a little English to kids who can only understand half of what I say.

Cheers