I'm done. I've had enough of myself. I'm tired (again) of being negative and miserable. My kids, J (ex) and I deserve better than this. It's time to change and be positive. No more whinging about 'the situation', no more blaming, no more shitty thoughts about hurting and hating.
Just focus on what I can do to make our lives more pleasant. We don't need to be sucked into that world. No more. Nobody can survive such a negative world and not come out scarred.
I worked hard to be positive and I've lost some of that. I worked hard for it and I want it back, now.
I want my kids to be happy and believe it or not, I want J (ex) to be happy. I'm calling him J now because he's more than just some dumb label I've assigned him. He's my children's father and he's a good person, a good father. He tried with me. Tried and tried and tried again. And he still tries. Not to say he doesn't have his faults, but I'm going to concentrate on our positive traits. No more whinging.
My life is a saga no more. It is my life and I'm going to be happy in it. J or not, in Malaysia or Australia. I owe it to my children to show them that being happy and positive is indeed up to them.
:)
5 comments:
Jo I cut and pasted some of your post and added some thoughts.
No more whinging about 'the situation', no more blaming, no more shitty thoughts about hurting and hating.
I hope it is that easy for you Jo. The emotional environment you are in makes it a grueling emotional challenge.
No more. Nobody can survive such a negative world and not come out scarred.
Scarred or scared either word would be a correct choice.
I worked hard to be positive and I've lost some of that. I worked hard for it and I want it back, now.
What the heck, now, today or tomorrow I do not think it matters that much Jo because we know that you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. It is just a long tunnel.
I want my kids to be happy and believe it or not, I want J (ex) to be happy.
We all want you to be happy and it is only you that must be strong enough to struggle through this. I suspect that it will still remain emotionally exhausting for you over the next few months. Just remember that I (all of us) have the utmost faith in your ability.
My life is a saga no more. It is my life and I'm going to be happy in it. J or not, in Malaysia or Australia.
Go for it Jo!
You know my inner thoughts on these issues from previous emails and you also know that you have my support whatever your choice.
Remember that 6000Km away in a third world area with a forth world relationship will bring more tears before the smiles.
Arduous times still ahead we know that and we all have faith in you and your ability.
You are still as strong as any person I know providing you do not turn your “could I have done that differently” thoughts that we all have into self destroying, incapacitating episodes. It would be so hard for anyone to avoid that happening in your situation. You have done so well in my opinion.
Best wishes
You've done so well in my opinion too Jo.
And yay for the positivity. It's hard to put all the other aside, but I think you're finding your way again. Positive thoughts and actions breed more of the same.
Best of luck, and I'm here with you, every step of the way.
[applauds]
xxx
Now your talking the right language. Only positive input will give you a positive outcome. I gave up smoking ten years ago and never went back using this attitude adjustment. Might not sound the same but the principle is. Good On You
Love always Pete
Amazing support and we all say the same thing using different words.
We have faith in you and your abilities.
Best wishes
I am finding my way back. I feel stable and good. I love you all.
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