I've just finished my fourth Torey Hayden book, 'The Tiger's Child'. It's actually a sequel to a book she'd written earlier called 'One Child', which I'll now have to find once I go to KL again. Torey is a special education teacher and qualified psychologist with a special interest in elective mutism in children. She's chronicled her experiences in six or 8 books, all of which I plan to read.
Being a special ed teacher myself, I was very interested in the stories she had to tell, because she had really hard kids. She took on kids that no-one else wanted or knew what to do with, no matter how hard they were. I related to her way of thinking in so many ways and realised that I've always wanted to be like her, especially when I was younger. I wanted to be that teacher who could reach those really hard kids, who'd go the extra mile for them, but somewhere along the way I got side-tracked and only actually taught in a special setting for about 6 or so years, with 3 year stint in a primary school in the middle of that. I've wanted to be a special education teacher since I was 15 years old. It took one very cute autistic boy to push me in that direction, so many years ago. That boy is 32 now I think and he would still know me. I see him every few years and like to think that I made a difference in his life, that I gave him one more friend to have. Torey had the same experience - she got to know one child and that set her off on her life's path. But she stuck with it, I didn't and wish in many ways, that I had.
If I look back now, I feel as if I let my life dilute my goals. Too busy trying to please other people I guess and I actually regret not forging ahead more strongly in my chosen path. But I was weak and let others influence me. If I had stayed in the field, today I would have much more experience to share with those I teach and help now.
I'm not getting down on myself, I'm just reflecting since reading Hayden's stories. She is what I wanted to be. Perhaps now that I'm on my own path, I can get back on that track again and do what I love doing - teaching kids with disabilities. There are many new methods for me to learn, lots of books to read. When I come back home, I want to study again and complete my early childhood education degree and also complete an extra unit specialising in autism. I've always wanted to be involved in early intervention - therapy for those young kids who are diagnosed with disabilities at an early age. When I was working in a school, I was always placed with teenagers, young adults or middle primary aged kids but never the early intervention group. At the moment, the kids I have come close - my youngest (Feng Ying) is only five and I've been teaching her for over a year now, so I started with her when she was still 3 years old. I feel lucky that I love my work and get so much satisfaction from it, even though it's stressful at times. I just feel like it's a great job - you teach and have fun along the way and these kids love you for it.
Yes, that is what I'll do. And now that I know better, I'll stick to my own path and do what I feel I was meant to do.
Just some thoughts.
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