It's been a pretty good week, though I'm feeling oh-so-tired. I think it's the hot weather. It's so damn hot. It's probably about 36 here and it doesn't cool down much at night - only to about 28.
Everyone's hot and grumpy, so I'm trying to just take things as they come. A few kids canceled this week, I had a new kid start and I spent quite a bit of time at the autistic centre. I do enjoy going there, only it's so hot because they only have one little aircon which is not nearly enough. The teachers are really nice and quite good with the kids. My favourite kid there is a boy called Brandon. He's the son of Kim and Wilson, my friends here. Whenever I go there, he tries to come and sit on my lap and I have to push him away because 'it's not appropriate school behaviour." But I adore him, he's a really sweet kid.
So, this week I went out for supper twice and ex messaged me to come back before I was ready - twice!!! I've already ranted about the Monday night one but it happened again on Thursday night - apparently ex had to go and pick up a friend who'd gotten way too drunk, but should that be my problem? I think not. Still, I find it hard to say no to him. Maybe one day, but for now, I'd rather not rock the boat by complaining too much - or at all!
While I was out this week, I met another Australian who is originally from Melbourne. She's been living here for about 21 years and I actually knew about her ages ago and met up with her and her husband about 3 years back, when we first moved here. Back then, she was very busy with her 5 kids and I was busy settling in and so on and so on and I didn't really feel comfortable contacting her. And her husband creeps me out. He's a real red flag. He's probably harmless enough, but as ex warned me, he'll ask you anything and tell everyone everything. When we met 3 years ago, he asked me about my family and I innocently told him I had a younger brother and sister and then without warning, he proceeded to write it all down on his laptop - then showed me as if to say "See, look what I've got on you". Apparently he does this for everyone he meets and of course, he's the town gossip.
Sooo, now that her kids have grown up and she's not so busy, I've promised to contact her. She doesn't look Australian because she's originally from Sri Lanka, but her accent is unmistakable and I love it. Her family migrated to Australia in the 60's and ended up in the same migrant hostel as my parents did when they came over from Holland. Amazingly, she grew up in Deer Park which is 20 minutes from where we live now (and have lived for a long time).
Small world eh?
So anyway, it's been a good week, more of the same really. We found out this week that in October and November, Jilian will need to attend school 5 and a half days a week because they are having compulsory tuition sessions in English and Malay on a Saturday morning. I don't want her to have to go because then she'll miss my English class but she's too scared to miss it, so she'll go. On the other hand, they're having so many school holidays this term it's getting ridiculous. They've just come back from a week's school holiday and the week after next they get another week for Hari Raya which is the Malay New Year.
And for the first time, I've been invited to someone's open house during Hari Raya (Malay New Year). On the 20th, Ramadan finishes and the Malays invite the friends and family around to eat and what have you. The lovely teachers at the autistic centre (they're sisters) have invited me and the children to visit them on the first day of their New Year. I've said we'll come because I'm actually really curious about how they live and they've been so nice to me that I didn't want to turn down their invitation. I did decline on ex's behalf though, saying I think he had something on that day. I'd rather he didn't mix with the people in my life, just as I don't like him to bring his friends into my life either by inviting them home or meeting up with them.
I've found that the less I know about ex's life, the better I cope and though I was intensely curious before, I find that curiosity now fading. Which is a good thing, because I really don't cope that well when I know stuff about his life beyond the four walls of this house. I've been quietly training my mind not to care about what he does and stopping myself when I start thinking about what he may or may not be doing. Sometimes I find that I can't sleep when he's out and I end up staying awake most of the night because he comes in so late, but if I think that's going to happen, I take xanax. I can tell when he gets home because he clangs the gate and if I'm asleep, I wake up. There's also the telltale lounge room light that I can see from under my door, which I have to leave on for him.
On another note, I've been reading about eccentric kids. Eccentric is good and needs to be embraced. My son is a little eccentric and obsessive. Currently, he's obsessed with the Wiggles (and has been since he was 3) and his collection of guitars. His guitar collection comprises of 1 classic guitar, 1 plastic electric guitar with one wire string left, 1 Wiggles guitar and no less than 6 paper guitars that he's made himself to fit in with all the Wiggles songs. So we've got guitars here coming out of our ears. I'm always picking them up or sitting on them or trying to put them away. I'm sure they've multiplied themselves. So, while I'd like to embrace them, they drive me crazy. He especially loves his acoustic guitar which he's proceeding to teach himself to play. Given that he's had no lessons, he's doing OK and can play a few simple tunes using one or two strings. Time to swap his keyboard lessons for guitar lessons, I think. But I am getting better at embracing his sometimes unusual behaviour.
Ahhh, we love our kids, but they do test us don't they? It's time to sleep and not think about where ex might be, not that I should care, but I'm kidding myself if I say that I don't care at all. Yesterday the kids were all over him saying "hugs for Papa" and so I thought I'd tease him a little and do the same and offer him a hug - the look on his face was priceless because he doesn't know whether he should 'proceed' and give me a hug or not - I let him off the hook this time and pulled away just before we made contact. Ha! I'm sure he thinks I'll melt down if he turns me down. I won't, but I'm not telling him that. And anyway, hugging him these days is about as much fun as hugging a cat's scratching post - oh so rough and awkward. No thanks.
Never thought I'd be thinking that, never.
Night.
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