Today was better. We got up early, the kids and I, and took ourselves out for a breakfast of roti canai and teh tarik. Yummo, not very healthy though. But still, I know this is something the kids enjoy so every once in a while, we go. It's nice to do fun yummy things, otherwise we're stuck in the house the whole time. When we got back, ex was awake. I wonder if he felt left out? I don't know and I didn't ask, instead offering to make him some coffee.
We started the day by doing some house cleaning - all three of us. I think they should help around the house a little by putting their toys away and helping me with a few things like folding, sweeping and putting dishes away. So we did that, I mopped and scrubbed a few floors and made the house presentable. I never used to do this. I'd only do it when I felt like it, which was almost never. But now, in this situation, I've made it a priority, to keep myself busy and also because I like living in a house that's not cluttered with crap. This started a few weeks ago when the in-laws came to town from KL to visit. The house was really neat - so much so that when they walked in, they said "where did everything go?". :) From that time, we've made it a point to keep it neat and it's working well. It makes us feel good, ex is happier (always a good thing) and I don't feel like I'm living in a huge mess. Consequently, I have more 'mind space' for other things and can enjoy doing more because I'm not always thinking about what I 'should' be doing at home.
Today was good in other ways too. Even though I restricted the video watching, I let my son be today - be himself that is. I let him sing, dance and wiggle his way through the day and if I didn't want to listen to him, I just let him ramble on instead of telling him to stop. I've realised that it's not important for me to give him my full attention when he's talking about these things (the Wiggles and their guitars and songs). Then, we had visitors at night, which is pretty rare, when the in-laws (from Segamat) and ex's cousin from KL visited. So my son talked to them instead and they thought he was adorable. And he is. I'm not embarrassed by his behaviour anymore (but I think ex is), instead choosing to be pleased that he's so sociable. He dressed in his pirate suit and sang them a song, pretending to strum away on his classic guitar. When he finished, he raised his hands in the air - he's becoming quite the showman.
The goodness continued when ex offered to cook fried rice for dinner while I did some gardening with the kids. We filled two big bags with weeds and crap from the garden, washed the porch and then all went in for a hot plate of rice. While we were showering after the gardening, it struck me that we do really well as a family unit - money issues, meltdowns and relationships issues aside, we've become very functional - each doing their bit to contribute to the family. And the kids respond really well to this too - they feel good, they sleep better and they don't fight as much.
Now, if only....
No, I won't go there, it was just a tease. I'm happy enough that we've been able to do what we have for the kids. It's what we set out to do. Many other families we know are far more dysfunctional than this one. I feel good that for a good part of the time, we can operate like this because really, it's what we always wanted, but could never do because we were so caught up in our own problems. It confirms for me that my decision to stay here was the right one, for us anyway, and you know what, it's not such a bad life when it's like this. Today, was a very "now" day - we focussed on today and didn't think about much else. Good stuff, I wonder what tomorrow will bring.
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