Miscommunication

I've spent all afternoon on the couch, watching tv, waiting for the phone to ring. I want news and I want it now.

The day started well. Got the kids off to school, went to Nasom and was organising to buy a laminate machine for them when I got a call. It was ex.

He was calling me to tell me that he was at the immigration department and that they were making a fuss over the fact that our daughter's visa had expired almost 2 weeks ago and now he was going to have to pay a fine and he didn't have enough money on him to pay and he asked about what the immigration office had told me about picking up her visa and did I tell them that it was due to expire.

Immigration had previously told me that we only needed to lodge the visa 7 working days before it was due to expire. Then when ex lodged the paperwork, about 8 days beforehand, they told him that it would take 14 working days to process. Of course, her visa would expire before we'd have a chance to pick it up - but I can't remember if I explicitly told them that. No matter I thought, we have a letter to say it's being processed, as ex had also noted. I rang back after the expiry date, to see if it was ready to be picked up. It was so we planned a date to go down. It's happened before where we've had a few days in between the visa expiring and being able to pick it up. Back then, it was fine, 'because we had the letter'.

On the phone, ex was 'ex' in full swing. He didn't seem to understand that I was telling him information that I had in fact, told him before and I was passing on information that I'd gotten from the immigration offices. I told him again (about the discrepancy in the 7/ 14 days to process thing) and this time there was a loud ohh, ohhh, oh-no over the phone and something about when I told him, I hadn't given him enough context, and he hung up.

Well, my mind went downhill from there. I know he's going to blame it on me. And this is a big thing this time and it's all my fault. This is what I'm predicting. He's not home yet, so I'll have to sit and wait. I hope he calls and says he's going to stay one more night.

How could this be me, when I'm not even in charge of getting this visa? How can this be my fault when I'm only passing on information from one mouth to another. Every time I ring that damn office, I get different information. But I know, in my heart, that I'll be apologising and taking responsibility for doing something I had no control over. Does he think for a minute, that I wouldn't have paid attention and given him every detail possible so that he wouldn't have to go through this shit? Apparently he does. Why didn't any of those immigration people, note the expiry date themselves? Don't they have to look at these things?

Later, he sms-ed me to ask me to put some money in the bank so that he could draw out the cash from where he was. I had to visit his bank and luckily the customer service officer knew who he was, because I needed them to release his account number so I could put some money in. She was really nice, the money went in and ex was able to access it immediately. I did it, immediately and with no mistakes. I don't think that will count for much.

I don't know if he was more upset that he didn't have enough money on him (not my fault you spend your money on god-knows-what) or whether he really thinks I was the cause of this. And I may never know. He may never talk about it to me, or he might. I just don't know what to expect when he comes home tonight.

All I'm hoping for is that this does not jeopardise our travel plans. So as not to rock the boat and ensure that we leave on time, assuming the visa has been granted, I will take any and all repsonsibility for this and just say that I'll do better next time. Maybe I'll be brave enough to suggest that he call the immigration department himself next time, especially since he speaks the language. I know it makes me a doormat, but I don't care. Just so long as we leave in 18 days.

How can I be so literate in one context and so illiterate in another? It's going to be a xanax night for both of us. Please, universe, let this pass.