Home again and on a learning curve

We sat up til 6am, my Dad and I, after I'd flown into Melbourne at 2am. It felt good to be back as we talked I caught up with all that's taken place in the light of mum being sick. What's obvious is that we are all on a steep learning curve, whether we want to be or not.

Mum is learning that she can't push herself too much, she has to take it easy in order to get better. It's going to take time, so she will need to learn patience as well. Meanwhile, Dad is learning to cover all things domestic - cleaning, paying bills and lookng after mum. My brother is staying with them right now too and he can cook, so I'm glad for that - he is a better cook than I am. For my brother, my sister and me, we are learning how to look after our parents and how to co-operate together.

My first day here I was impressed with the way we worked together. I was with my dad picking up mum from the hospital. During that time, my sister visited the house, vaccuumed and saw that there wasn't much food around and so went shopping for some goodies which we later discovered. It was great. Then when brother came home, he too had been shopping and so was able to make us all quite a yummy dinner. We didn't plan to 'work together' but we each saw a need and were able to jump in and do what needed to be done. And mum and dad noticed and were pleased.

I am also on a high learning curve. I'm not good with icky things, medicine and the like butI've had to put that aside for now and just deal with it. Helping mum shower, get dressed and take her medication on time are some of the things I'm doing as well as keeping her appointments organised and sorting out her medication.

Probably the thing that really blew me away was the amount of medication she has to take. Powerful pain killers like oxycontin are taken twice daily as well as a slew of others - some to counter side effects, some to keep her blood pressure in check, some for depression.. the list goes on. She's also on an antibiotic drip, so a nurse comes daily to change the bottle and keep a check on her. I made sure I asked the nurse about her pain medication and what could be used with what. You hear so many stories of people mixing up their medication, sometimes with fatal consequences, it's damn scary. The medication is also making her confused and when she realises that she is confused, she feels bad. I feel bad for her because my mother is a proud woman, not used to being so out of control with what's happening to her.

She is improving though and that's the good thing. I'm so glad I came because she is grateful that I'm here to help. It was important to her that I come, so I made a good decision. I'm sorry for her that I can't stay more than two weeks, but I do need to get back to my children, who I know are missing me. They are OK, as far as I can gather. Ex reassured me that he would take care of them and that they'd be OK.

I'm happy that I followed my instincts. I could have listened to ex instead and not come, but listneing to myself, knowing that it was the right thing for me to do has boosted my faith in myself better than anything ex could ever say.