Maybe it's not a good thing and daily minutiae

Yesterday was day 2 on the new medication for ex and I felt sorry for him. I did, I couldn't help it. Taking this kind of medication has it's drawbacks in the side effects it creates and for ex it was muscle twitching and irritation - I didn't experience this at all. He was on edge all day, though controlled it very well. The muscle spasms didn't help and made him sore in the afternoon. He said he'll give it another day, then go back to the doctor's and see what else can be done. Perhaps there's another brand or type that's more suitable.

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I can't seem to get enough sleep these days. I usually wake up during the night and at some point get back to sleep, but I'm not good in the morning. The 6am wake up feels worse everyday and then I come back home from dropping daughter at school and have to go back to bed. I don't get up again til 10 or so and even then that's an effort. This doesn't feel right to me, as I'm accustomed to getting my day started at about 8.30 or 9. Sleeping til 10 seems like a waste of time.

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The ironing in piling up like nobody's business. Maybe I need to ask ex to do it. He's rather good in that department. If he was a little less controlling and critical he'd make a very good husband.

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The kids have exams next week. Daughter is already fretting. She wants to pass and more than that she wants to do well. She's proud to be in the second highest class in her level and wants to stay there for this year, even with all the stress. And the stress is making her behave in ways she might not otherwise. Yesterday, her brother was packing her school books for today (he does it because he can do it without looking at her timetable because he has a good memory for these things) and he was taking his time about it so she yelled at him. Needless to say, she'll be packing her own bag from now on so that she can gain an appreciation of what he was doing for her.

After an episode like this one though, she's all remorse and guilt and comes down on herself really hard, crying and spiraling down because she thinks she's a bad person. I'm trying to teach her that good people make mistakes and we just have to learn from them. We (and particularly her) are not bad people, not by any stretch of the imagination. I really want to stress that to her the last thing she needs is a low self esteem like her mother.

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Mum seems to be doing well. Now when I talk to her and dad, the sound normal, though mum still sounds a bit down. She has good days and bad days where she's still in pain but nothing like it was before. She's still on medication too, for the infection and the pain, but again, not the cocktail she was taking while I was there.

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It's time to go and make lunch. Son is having french toast and we are all having won ton mee which is noodles mixed with a brown sauce and served with a little pork, vegie, sour chillies and little won tons served in soup (little dim sim type things). It's a good lunch. Son can't stand noodles so I don't make him eat them. They make him gag.

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I've been out a fair bit lately, going for supper and coffee and this week we celebrated my friends birthday with American chocolate cake. It was fabulous. So this week, I got to say to ex "I'm staying out late because we're celebrating W's birthday." It was OK, he didn't call me back, but he did go out half an hour after I got home. He's also been going out a lot, during the day and at night, leaving at midnight and coming back in the early hours. I don't dare think about why, but I can't say anything either.

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I want to come back for the holidays again. Airline prices this year are similar. Emirates now flies from KL to Melbourne but it's much cheaper for me to take the flight from Singapore. I wonder if I should wait for the dollar to stabilise. Hmmm.

Time to go and get back to life. Cheers to all.