I was selfish for another night this week, last night in fact. It was my best friend's birthday and she invited me to go for dinner with them. A 9-course Chinese meal at one of the better restaurants around here. After that, a stint at a local karaoke place. It wasn't my kind of thing, but I went anyway, to watch and really, just to stay out of the house.
I sat there, listened, smiled and... had a beer! Huh? Now, I don't drink beer, I never have because I don't like the taste, but there it was. It was the only drink this stupid place had, besides water, so I braved it. Not bad. Not great, but OK. I could probably get used to it. As I sat there, sipping my first beer, watching my friend and her family were belting out all manner of Chinese songs, laughing and having a great time, the thing that struck me was that ex and I have never had this much fun together. Never! I'm not kidding. Not even when we were young and stupid. We've done things together that we've enjoyed, but we've never had the all out, make an idiot of yourself, rolling on the floor laughing fun that these people were having. Hmmmm, I'd never noticed that before. We didn't laugh that much at all together. We'd laugh and have a good time with friends and really enjoy ourselves (well I did anyway), but not like this. I found it a bit sad really.
And I think, now that I've seen it, that it's important. My friend's husband can (and does) carry on like an idiot, poke fun at her, dance hideously and step on her feet doing it, and she doesn't care. She still loves him and he her. They're not embarrassed by each other's antics, they don't tell each other to 'cut it out', there's no awkwardness. It's just fun and they are happy for each other to have it. Of course, this type of behaviour is not for everyone, but that's not the important part. The important part is how comfortable they feel with each other and the fact that they can make each other laugh .
I've never really noticed that before about ex and I - that we could never be that comfortable with each other. There was always a mutual degree of inhibition with us and while that might be good in front of a group of strangers, I'm not so sure it's what I want to have with the person in my life that should know me better than anyone else. So when I think about it now, how uptight we were with each other, I think HUGE RED FLAG and think no wonder it didn't work!
At least I'm aware of it now. If there's ever going to be a time when I am with someone else, I know that I should be able to feel like I can belt out a song and that person will still be smiling at me afterward, even if they are cringing a little - which they would do, given I can't sing to save myself.
On a lighter note, I did join in the singing last night. Not on the microphone, because mics just make me clam up, but as a background voice to help them sort the timing of the English songs that they'd selected. They played Taylor Swift's 'Love Story' and really, they had no idea. It was fun.
Cheers.
No comments:
Post a Comment