Calm before the storm...

It's been a quiet day. Classes were cancelled, the kids went to school and after-school tuition as normal. Ex left in the morning and we didn't see him again til evening when we met up in town so that he could take daughter to play soccer while I took son for a haircut (one less thing I will have to do this week).

I want to get going, but I can't move. The kids don't know yet because ex decided that he didn't want them to know and then have to go to school the next day. We were supposed to tell them tonight but he took daughter out to see some friends at the local 'hungry ghost' festival in town and they're not back yet. I stayed home with son and we had supper together and watched episodes of the Simpsons. He's fallen asleep in my bed and I'm staying up til ex and daughter get home.

This morning I wanted to go to NASOM and tell the teachers that I'm leaving. I asked ex if he would mind and he said he would. "No-one knows until the kids know." It's fair enough but even though I don't want to devastate them, I need them to know so I can get on with preparations. Ex said I was putting my own feelings first and couldn't understand how I could want to tell others without telling the kids first. We think differently. My justification is that I want to give them my teaching materials and say good bye because they will not be available over the holidays and it's not like they are going to meet up with the kids at all. I also wanted to get the kids reports from the school but couldn't do that because I couldn't tell the teachers why because the kids don't know yet.

Ex says I always seem to grab on to one issue and focus on it. Today it's been about telling the kids about what's happening. All the while they don't know, I have to keep up a 'everything is normal" facade which means that they went to tuition today and we speak as if they are going back to school after this weeks holidays. Yesterday it was the ticket issue. Tomorrow, who knows what I'll grab onto, although I suspect it will be the same as today. The kids need to know, now.

But days are going past. Tickets are not booked yet. I don't think the 5th is a feasible date to leave. Before we go, we need to visit the dentist, get a pair of glasses each, have othotics made for son's feet (requires 1 - 3 days in KL) and pack up 60kgs of our most essential stuff. Ex said the rest we don't need to worry about. We'll bring it back slowly or he'll pack it up for us and send by sea mail. I would like to get a few of those going too. And I want to back up my hard disk onto a portable drive so I can bring my stuff with me. And I need the kids school reports, although ex can do that as well after we leave.

Times they are a-changing. Send me your positive thoughts people, they've gotten me this far.

Love you all.

Cheers